In Recovering the Art of Persuasion Shane Rosenthal says that we’ve been poorly trained by TV how to argue and persuade.

When media professionals end up having important conversations for us, they typically do so in brief segments, frequently interrupted by advertisements. Advocates of various positions are chosen to make segments more compelling, and the more fireworks the better! …

Whether we realize it or not, we’ve all been mentored and catechized by these “conversation surrogates.” So when differences of opinion emerge among friends and relatives, it seems natural for us to raise our voices, ridicule the other side, offer caricatures, and throw bombs.

We are also overly dependent on “conversational suragates”. Many times the best person to persuade your friend is you.